I wasn’t sure, initially, that I would speak today – standing up in front of a crowd is not exactly comfortable for me (thus, the paper). But I thought about what I would say, if I were to be so brave, and found that I really wanted to share what Doris, my husband’s grandmother, meant to me. I didn’t get to grow up near my grandparents and considered Trevor really fortunate to be so close to his.
I knew Doris for 19 years. We met shortly after Trevor and I began dating. I don’t recall whether our first meeting fell on a special occasion, but I do remember it was at the pool and everybody was there – it is as likely that it was someone’s birthday or a holiday as it is that is was just a regular Sunday afternoon, because everyone was always there, together, enjoying the pool and each other’s company. I also recall feeling welcomed immediately and from that point on, Doris and Wilbur treated me as they did their own grandchildren.
I believe Doris was happiest when surrounded by family and friends, which she often was, because all occasions big or small were cause for coming together, and even minor holidays opportunities for gift giving in a way that initially, I found overwhelming. My family, while generous in attitude towards others – forgiving easily and displaying genuinely- felt kindness – are more reserved when it comes to celebrations and gifts. Holidays in our house are low-key and relaxed — quite the opposite of the two solid days of food, drink, and festivities with the Wright’s at Christmastime. I came to understand that for Doris, her joy came from seeing other’s joy, far more genuinely than anyone I have ever known, and that the parties and gifts were an effort to bring forth that joy.
Doris made an impact, which will become her legacy, on all of the recipients of her immense generosity. While gift giving and receiving will probably never feel natural to me, I am a more generous hostess because of her, and more conscious that life is worth celebrating. I feel extremely fortunate that my children got to know their great grandmother long enough and well enough to make a permanent imprint. No one can enjoy children and show them unconditional love better than a grandparent or great-grandparent.
I wanted to find a poem that speaks to the joy experienced when surrounded by beauty and the people we love that Doris embodied, but I couldn’t find one that I felt expressed what I wanted to say. But I will leave you with a quote from Mark Twain in the spirit with which Doris lived her life: “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with”.